I’ve been having some problems with a few scenes in my story, relating to theme. You see, I spent so much time plotting things out, and that worked out well because the plot remains solid. But as I go to execute certain scenes I have trouble finding the best way to convey the themes.

For example, I have a scene featuring one of my villains who happens to be the chief of a government agency. Since corruption and hypocrisy are themes of my dystopia, I’ve been trying to find the best ways to bring those out through the actions & dialogue of the characters.

In one scene, the villain is assembling his men and about to engage in a raid against people who would be honest law-abiding citizens in a 21st century democracy. In this future society, they are perceived as criminals by the authorities, and through authority’s manipulation of public perception, they have become enemies of the society itself.

One of the keys for this ‘moment-with-the-villain’ scene is to show him debriefing his men, giving them a pep talk before the raid, and finding ways to rationalize what they’re all about to do and explain why these seemingly harmless, freedom-loving people are somehow enemies of the state.

Of course a good place to focus are on statements which are logical but do not represent any kind of sane moral truth, for example, “The law is the law!” That’s not the actual line, but it’s something close to that. Presenting the dogged persistence with rules, but only when they seem to benefit that character, along with several doses of hypocrisy — the villain doesn’t even care about the beliefs he’s presenting to his younger, more impressionable recruits. He also conducts his own life in sheer opposite to the ‘values’ he commands from the mountain top.

Suddenly, what he says and how he says it become very important. Because saying it one way doesn’t do the theme justice, while saying it a better way injects the theme with a little testosterone.

I’ve been obsessed with this lately, as it pertains to theme. Not just with dialogue, but with action too. “Is it more dramatic if he slaps a recruit for insubordination? Or is that too much?” I suppose it’s no different than any other kind of perfectionism. I just need to get the words down and move on. If they’re bad I can fix them later.

Bringing out the theme is one of the more fun, if grueling parts of writing a scene.