Quantum Storytelling

I’m editing down the first scene of my screenplay because I need the big catalyst in my story to move from page 20 to page 12.

As I edit this first scene, I notice a bad habit of mine that crops up pretty often. I’m too explicit. I leave nothing unexplained. It’s not just a matter of using too many words. As I visualize a scene while writing it, I have a hard time resisting the temptation to describe anything and everything I feel is pertinent to the scene. Here’s an example;

Three of my characters are in a gunfight, surrounded by enemies. One of them gets shot. One of them jumps up, reacting badly to the one who was shot. The third pulls him down, and proceeds to explain how they have to keep a cool head because help is on the way.

As I edited this scene down, I realized there’s no need for my hero to explain to his frantic friend why they all need to keep a cool head. All he has to do is pull him down and tell him to stay down. Why would he need to explain any more than that? Clearly standing up into a barrage of whizzing bullets is bad?

And yet, when I wrote it I couldn’t resist the urge to have my hero talk the other character down.

Another example is a detailed description of enemies emerging from a forest. Keep in mind this is a script not a novel, so exactly *how* they emerge from the forest is not as important as the simple fact they do. You can safely leave a lot of little details like this up to interpretation.

Not everything has to be spelled out and made explicit. The core rule of Delete & Forget is if your story is still intact after you’ve omitted a certain sentence or paragraph.

Are you too explicit?