Quantum Storytelling

I’m editing down the first scene of my screenplay because I need the big catalyst in my story to move from page 20 to page 12.

As I edit this first scene, I notice a bad habit of mine that crops up pretty often. I’m too explicit. I leave nothing unexplained. It’s not just a matter of using too many words. As I visualize a scene while writing it, I have a hard time resisting the temptation to describe anything and everything I feel is pertinent to the scene. Here’s an example;

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“He knew that Sarah would never go for a trip to Tuscon. In all his time spent with her, Matthew had never once heard her say something good about the town. In thinking about the situation, he decided to try and avoid the topic altogether because her ex-boyfriend Larry lived there. He knew he was better off not mentioning Tuscon or Larry, at risk of starting a fight with her.

It all happened five years ago, when Sarah lived with Larry in Tuscon. At first things had been great. Larry and Sarah had the trappings of the happy kind of ideal life everyone dreams about. White picket fence, two cars and a baby on the way.

That was until Larry came home covered in blood one night. He’d been moonlighting as a criminal, and while on the job his partner got shot. What Sarah didn’t know is that Matthew was the partner. It was his blood on Larry that night. It was his blood that had dragged Sarah across time and space, and gotten her involved in the criminal underworld. She couldn’t have known it at that time, but it was all Matthew’s fault.”

He knew or she knew is a sure sign of rambling off into character headspace. It is telling, not showing. I don’t want to know why Matthew knows not to bring up a certain topic with Sarah. I want to witness him having a conversation with Sarah, and dancing around the subject Pinteresque style.

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That’s the score as of last night. I got the index cards all laid out on the living room floor, filled in scenes I’d forgotten to add cards for, and added new cards for things I had in mind. 24 left actually isn’t many. I have a slight worry that if I get too carried away, I won’t have room for everything. But I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. It also doesn’t have to be 60 scenes exactly. It could be 50, or 64. But I’m aiming for 60.

Two things that have been nudging me along:

1. Shower crayons—-yes these have helped a lot, surprise, surprise. But I’ll talk more about that in an update post once I have enough of the shower walls covered to take a neat photo of it.

2. Reading lots of fiction. In the past I’ve gotten absorbed in books on writing as I work on my story. This time, I’m buried in fiction. This is hard to explain but reading other peoples’ work while I get in gear on my story gives me confidence. Why? Because even best-selling authors aren’t perfect. I find myself noticing plot, logic, story, or writing flaws. And then I tell myself, “But millions of people enjoyed this book so it doesn’t matter.” Something about letting the critic be beat down while reading a successful, less-than-perfect work allows me to loosen up a bit as I work, and not be such a perfectionist worrysome self-nag.

24 more… let’s hope I can knock these out in the next couple weeks and get started on the writing again. If I get the scenes in place I could go nuts writing and be done by September to start outlining Story # 2 for the 2006 NaNoWriMo.

Gotta love that anxious energy. Go, go, go!